You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
