one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
