Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
