My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
