i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
