Im at strip club and am horny
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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