Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
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The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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