Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
