Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
