I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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