Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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