you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
