are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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