you turned your livingroom into a bong?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
