it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm always down for nudity.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
