she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
