I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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