GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
