The brown eye won't let me do that either.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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