Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
