I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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