can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize