just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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