i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You are a genius and a whore.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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