Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
