I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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