whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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