We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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