dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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