so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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