he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
