im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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