He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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