five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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