girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
