She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
