the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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