You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
