does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
