I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
