I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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