oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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