i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
