Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
