i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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