Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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