The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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