carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
