i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
