Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
