you would pick up someone in the library
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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