i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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