i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize