At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
