I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
