i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
