her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
