Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
