so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize