i would punch a child for taco bell
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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