he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
