I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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